Why so complicated?
Call me UPS because I fucking LOVE logistics.
But this is a little much…
Anyone who has owned a crappy car is familiar with the exasperation that comes with non-stop problems. There’s a mix of optimism and dread every time you get in the car. Are we going to behave today Mazda, or will you break down in a whole new and creative way? That’s kinda what planning this trip feels like sometimes.
This will be my fourth trip with The Adventurists. The main slogan “Motoring Stupidity on a Global Scale” is kinda perfect for what they do. Every event revolves around the idea of traversing exotic countries you might not otherwise visit with a form of transportation that is wholly unsuited for that environment.
If I had to sum up their general mantra, it’s celebrating the idea of getting lost. Excess planning or relying on technology are frowned upon. Some teams run wild with that idea, to a degree that’s borderline insane. When I did the Mongol Rally in 2017, there were people hell bent on driving from London to Mongolia without their phones or GPS, relying solely on paper maps. Yeah yeah, I know that’s how we used to get around.
But “getting around” doesn’t usually entail driving 12,000 miles. Driving through Istanbul with a navigator trying to relay directions from a paper map? Fuck that. The temperment inside the car was already a powder keg, and Ryan was about as stressed as I’ve ever seen him trying to navigate the 18th largest city in the world with GPS. The result of that was our first of a dozen flat tires, going the wrong way down a busy one way street.
One of the things I love the most about these events is that you have to be okay with just figuring shit out day by day. Go ahead and make a plan if it makes you feel better, just don’t get attached to it. The truth is you’re subject to the whims of the universe, and have very little control of the million unpredictable things that will fuck up your plan. Like what, you ask?
For one, don’t rely on google maps estimates in underdeveloped countries. In Mongolia we didn’t need GPS but as an example below is how long google estimated this path would take. The operative word being path, given that more than 2/3rds of this is just driving through one very long field. What looks like three casual 8 hours days was in fact four 15 hour days of driving.
Traffic, goat crossings, border delays, roads washed out, police, mechanical failures…the list goes on.
The point is you have no idea what city you’ll end up in every day, let alone hotel. If that’s the case,why bother making a plan at all?
The better way to approach something like this is instead of trying to control the unpredictable, spend that time researching things that you’d ideally like to see along the way, and just see what happens. Then day by day make adjustments and balance what’s practical or possible against your distance remaining.
Unfortunately, traveling across this part of India seems to require a frustrating amount of planning. It’s actually requiring a degree of planning that it kinda flies in the face of what The Adventurists are all about. The confusing bureaucracy of India simply doesn’t allow you to just point your vehicle in a direction and go.
Don’t worry baby bird, I’ll explain.
India is basically in a dispute with every country along it’s entire northern border. And we happen to be driving into the very disputed Kashmir region.
Shit’s popping off all the time all over the place. Sometimes it’s country vs country skirmishes, and there’s also a whole bunch of cross border terrorism. In response to these security concerns, India has instituted a variety of rules.
For instance, it is illegal for a tourist to enter the country with GPS, satellite phone, or adjacent devices. In March of 2025 a team was arrested at the Mumbai airport for having a Garmin. We’ve also been told a previous team was put under hotel arrest for multiple days because they had a sat phone.
Foreigners are also completely banned from flying drones, and there is no way to get a license to do so. Technically if it’s for commercial purposes you can “lease” your own device to an approved operator otherwise it just won’t take off. Oh, and you still can’t fly it. I’ve found a technical workaround for this, but will have to buy a cheaper (lighter) model and still run the risk of it being confiscated until I leave.
The part that effects us most though, is fucking permits.
I guess I should say that I don’t have a problem with permits. That’s often just part of basic logistics, and that’s my jam. The actual problem with the permits is just trying to figure out what we could need. That depends on where you’re going of course…
And now dear reader, this all comes full circle if you haven’t already caught on.
The only way to know which permits could be required is to spend an inordinate amount of time investigating individual routes into the Himalayas that will get you to the finish. This effectively locks you into…a plan. One that will surely fall apart. Boooo!
Ok I admit that this is just silly griping. Sure it’s tedious and I don’t want to do it, but it’s manageable and all doable online. There’s even a handy govt provided pdf that explains what “states” need permits.
sarcasm
1: the use of words that mean the opposite of what one intends to say especially in order to insult, to show irritation, or to be funny : a mode of satirical wit depending for its effect on ironic and usually bitter and caustic language
If you’re wondering what you’re looking at on the right, allow me to explain.
We know that we need at least one PROTECTED AREA PERMIT for an area known as the Spiti Valley, also known as the INNER LINE. That permit could be the only one we actually need as it covers a pretty big area.
However, the only way to know if this is all we need requires the quick and easy process of cross referencing all of the following at the same time – for every state:
– all the listed cities in the doc
– any “attraction” we’re interested in
– a cartoon map that shows what roads fall under the INNER LINE
– google’s “my maps” feature that allows for multiple layers
oh and by the way…
You can’t apply for any permits online. As a matter of fact you can only apply for them in the state a permit applies to. We also have to get a registered tour agency to sponsor any application for a small fee, and the authorities want a fairly detailed list of places we intend to visit and our route.
We have been warned that the one we know we need could take an entire day to process. “Processing” by the way means they have to watch us sign it, but apparently the cops just work when they feel like it. And also, those offices are closed on Sundays, every second Saturday, Indian holidays (which are frequent), and at random times throughout the day.
I don’t remember how long it took to figure out the logistics for the Mongol Rally, but that involved driving across literally half the world. This is just one country, and yet my eyes glaze over from frustration (and boredom) every time I pick this back up.
